Dear Irene,
I am a successful businessman. I own my own company (in
the real estate field) and have hit a certain level of success in
my life on the professional side.
On the marriage side, I have struck out. I have been married
twice, but each time the marriage failed, in large part I think,
because both of my ex-wives felt I was married to my job and not them.
As the guru of modern matchmaking and someone whose
opinion I value, please tell me what I’m doing wrong. I want
to know how to fix things. I want to be happily married to a
woman – not my job!
Sincerely,
Samual J.
Tampa, Florida
Dear Samual,
You are halfway there. You have made a decision about
what you really want.
Be sure you know yourself well and define who it is you
want in a relationship. Find someone with similar values,
lifestyles and expectations. Make sure you discuss this with
your future potential partner. How much time is reasonable
for you and what are her expectations? Each person is a
little different, but you must be willing to listen and hear
what your future potential partner tells you. Often, people
fall in love based on chemistry and discover that not enough
of the things that really matter most are compatible.
Also, when you are away from work, be away from
work. Make sure both co-workers and clients know that
you are not available 24/7. It is acceptable to let
people know that you do not answer phone calls after a particular time, or that you are having dinner this
evening with your wife and won’t be answering the phone
after a certain time.
Remember, if you really care about someone, it is worth
your time to make the effort to treat the relationship as
something special. Arrange “unexpected” time off to take her
on a special trip and just spend time with her. Send flowers
for no particular reason. Leave her a little note about how
you feel about her and how much you appreciate her. Do
everything in your power to make sure the romance
does not end once the honeymoon is over. Don’t just meet
her expectations, exceed them, and she will exceed yours.
Warm regards,
Irene Valenti
Dear Irene,
With your experience in this arena, please give me some
honest feedback about a frustrating situation. Is it a reality
that high caliber men have no use for your service because
it’s easier for men like this to find someone on their own?
Do these men prefer younger women
thus limiting the availability of quality partners?
Your thoughts would be most appreciated!
Thank you,
Susan L.
New York, NY
Dear Susan,
On the contrary, high-caliber men are always concerned
about the risk they encounter on their own and the time
involved. They are more than willing to hire an expert to
assist them in finding their ideal partner. These are men
who are serious and very realistic about age, attractiveness
and all the qualities they are seeking.
By the way, men and women of all ages ask me similar
questions. From a man’s point of view – why would
an attractive, successful lady need to hire a service
to help her? And of course, men think women have
all the choices and why would they need someone to
assist them?
Let’s face it, in today’s world, it’s nearly impossible in
any age bracket to find your ideal partner without some
professional assistance. As I often say, the more you have to
offer, the more difficult it is to find that someone special.
Warm regards,
Irene Valenti
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